Q: My boyfriend for a year and a half says he loves me. He even brings up topics like marrying me. Then, all of a sudden, he says he doesn't want me and says no to commitment and romantic feelings. Then we fall back into it again and he introduces me to family. I’m so confused and hurt.
A: He may be commitment-phobic. This can drive you crazy. It seems that he doesn't have a solid sense of himself. It could be that he doesn’t feel good about his career. Furthermore, this instability could set off a mood-disorder radar system. He may have some underlying depression.
If he indeed suffers from depression and not getting the right therapy, this cycle will continue. It’s a bright idea not to return his calls, but if you do feel unfinished psychologically, you could maybe write him a letter. Express your hurt and anger. And you could suggest depression counseling for him.
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