Q: I have a
boyfriend for one and a half years and from the start was strongly attracted to
him and loved him deeply. The main issue was his lack of emotional intimacy and
communication. I was always open, honest and patient with him, while he always
seemed too afraid to let me really know him.
A: People who
came from abusive or abandoning relations usually only know dysfunction. They have
this tendency to find partners who are ambivalent and hostile; these people
fear and reject closeness in spite of their dependent longings. Additionally,
the emotional empathy a young girl was not able to get from a critical/withholding
parent, such as approval, she usually tries to draw out from a distant-needy
partner. This kind of a distant or detached partner comes with challenge to
prove her worthiness as a desirable woman who can get the love of the elusive object.
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